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My Mum’s Star
My mum's star remains a symbol of love and remembrance
but it will never replace the ache of her forever physical absence
When you abruptly departed from this earth
I was utterly lost like a child in the vast universe
when grief weighted heavy on my bleeding heart
I was desperately searching for your loving presence
when I looked up to a clear cold sky in the night
I saw this brightest star amongst a sea of other stars
a special star offered me a sense of connection to you
A celestial gem, a radiant light, I called “My Mum's Star”
I stood in your garden and gazed at your star every night
all I saw was your infectious smiling face shining brightly
oh, how I spoke with you and told you how much it hurts
how I think of you and miss you so terribly every single day
how I clutch to memories cherished, held close to my heart
in the defeatist hope that you and I never truly being apart
But as time passed, that star on high, “My Mum's Star”
a distant twinkle and speck that solely belongs to you
became a poignant reminder of what I had lost in sooth
as it no longer brought just comfort but also aching sorrow
I grappled with this agonising paradox and I realised that
the unfillable void you left that no star in the sky can bridge
it was a deafening silence that no celestial body can break
Though the beauty of that star in the sky is a wondrous sight
but it is NOT where I want you to be, a star in the silent night
I just want you right here to be my mum as you used to be
what I truly yearn for is your presence in the physical world
I long for you to wipe away every sorrow and every tear I cry
I would trade all the stars in the starry expanse without a fight
to have you back for just one more moment of holding me tight
I am a motherless daughter and an adult orphan, who loves passionately and grieves intensely, as I write and share about my personal grief journey with others, after I lost my darling Mum on 04 October 2022
to major stroke so suddely and so unexpectedly, with the hope that it might comfort, help and inspire people on their own journey.
"Mum, I carry your strength
with every step I take
on this new path "
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