Happy 79th Birthday, My Darling Mum: Celebrating the Heart of Our Family

Happy 79th Birthday, My Darling Mum:

Celebrating the Heart of Our Family

Mum, we celebrate not just your birthday, but you and your unique life

in your absence, you are as present in our hearts as ever

My Beautiful Mum on Her Birthday in 2019

Ma, today is your 79th birthday, and it is the third time we have travelled to a foreign land to celebrate this special day without you, the third year we have tried to eulogise your vibrant spirit, though it is the third birthday, we are navigating these moments, the ache of missing you is as fresh as ever, the pain of your sudden passing does not feel any less raw, or any less surreal, you were never just a part of our lives, but you were the pulse, the energy, the heart that kept everything cheerful and alive, and you always made every moment brighter, every journey more exciting, every birthday unforgettable, yet on this day, it feels so wrong to call it a celebration, as your absence has reshaped the very meaning of joy for us

Ma, every year, your birthday was an occasion filled with exhilaration and anticipation, as it was never just a date, it was a season, an event, a reason for us all to come together, and to celebrate the incredible life you lived, the remarkable lady who gave so much of yourself to everyone, it was never just about cake or presents, it was about togetherness, and your birthday was never just about marking another year, it was a time of pure delight, you were always at the centre of it all, radiating love and enthusiasm, and lighting up a room without even trying, but now, it is so damn hard, it is so damn painful to celebrate when the person we are celebrating is no longer here, so we ought to mark this big day in a new way

Ma, three years, since we last celebrated your birthday with you, but time has done little to soften the hurt of your absence, instead, it has deepened our appreciation for the years we had with you, for the countless birthdays when you were with us, leading the way with your radiant smile, since you loved birthdays, not just your own, but everyone’s, and you always made sure those around you felt included, even though it was your day, while we celebrate your extraordinary life, we also mourn your excruciating loss, birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones have all taken on a dual meaning now, not only moments of remembrance and gratitude, but also of longing and heartache, every year, we miss you more, not less

Ma, despite the fact that you are not physically with us today, still, we are honouring you in every way we know how, and we are trying to replicate the traditions you loved, to recreate those celebrations, but there is an irreplaceable void, nevertheless, we do it for you, we do it because you taught us to embrace life, to find beauty even in difficult times, and to value love above all else, so we speak of you as if you are right here with us, in many ways, you are, we tell stories about your life with sadness, we raise glasses to your name, we toast to your memory with tears in our eyes, yet, it is inevitable, we feel the silence, emptiness, and stillness in the air, even as we celebrate you, the heart of our celebrations is missing

Ma, traveling for your birthday was always a way to celebrate your zest for life, your love of discovery, your excitement of new adventures, and your thrill of being with your kids, every journey was a carnival with you, the moments of awe and wonder, every destination a new canvas for your boundless curiosity, and your uncanny ability to turn even the littlest things into a cherished memory, every year, as we approach this day, the weight of your absence grows heavier, still, we travel, because it is what you would have wanted, we plan our trips, we ask ourselves - where would you have loved to go? What would have made your heart sing? So this year, like the years before, we selected places you would have adored

Ma, this year, as we pack our suitcases, finding ourselves in a new corner of the world, but in your absence, there is an undeniable hollowness to it all, on this trip, like the two before, it is impossible not to think about how you would react to each moment, we can almost see you walking alongside us, and marvelling your amazement at the sights, even when every step feels leaden, every meal less flavourful, and every sunset less brilliant, without you to share it, yet, no matter how breathtaking the landscapes or how warm the sun feels on our skin, we feel the sharp pang of wishing you were here to see it, too, we whisper a “Happy Birthday” to the wind, and hoping it carries our love for you to wherever you might be

Ma, on this day, your day, we celebrate you, not just the years you lived, but the best mum, who was the heart of our family, and the pulse of our lives, the gentlest soul, who made the world a better place just by being in it, this birthday, like the ones before it and the ones yet to come, is for you, we may cry and grieve, we also smile and salute, since you gave us so much to be grateful for, we miss you beyond words, and we carry you with us in every step we take, every moment we live, and every breath we draw, you may not be here in the way we wish, but you are always with us in every way that matters, you are in our memories, in our travels, in our tears, and in our hearts, we love you, today, tomorrow, and always